i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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