Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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