That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
