this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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