Duck Duck Cougar?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
