..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
