the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
