My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
