this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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