I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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