Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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