U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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