I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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