I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
