dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
