You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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