hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
