just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
