Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
