ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Randomize
