what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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