I'd wear matching sweaters with you
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Small penises have feelings too.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
