the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
