dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
