no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
