they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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