all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
