yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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