do herpes really smell.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
