I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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