i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
