if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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