I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
