Small penises have feelings too.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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