she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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