Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
