It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
