I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I FOUND THE LEGS
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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