Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
