wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
