I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
