just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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