He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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