if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
