Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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