Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
