I must be too annoying 4 u.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I need moral support for this bender
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
