hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
