that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
