I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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