we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
